A very Merry 4th indeed

Today is the 4th of July and I am going to celebrate in my usual style----------by doing as little as possible.

I'm staying in, reading a wonderful book, and have plans to go to the hot air balloon/fireworks festival in Canton, MS.

I'm so excited about attending....I've wanted to do this since I first moved to Mississippi, so this should be fun.

There will be bar-b-que, music, and hotter-than-hell weather amidst hot air balloons. Should be a good time.

Happy 4th to you all!

Memoriam, May 2009

Her hands were small, but perfectly formed.
They were always busy--------cleaning something, cooking something, loving or petting on someone. I do not remember a time when they weren't busy.

Her nails were burgundy red. Always.
Since age 16 she wore a shade of burgundy----and it suited her, with her pale, pale skin and her mink black hair. She was her own version of Snow White.

If I grew too restless in church, or was winding down for the night, she would put my head in her lap and stroke my hair. I would become peaceful then. I would know that I was loved when those small motherly hands were in my hair, combing it, putting it up in ponytails or dog-ears.


When she died, I placed my head in her lap one more time and put her hand on my head. I didn't know how else to say goodbye. It would be the last chance I had to know her this way. One last loving touch.

When I went to the funeral director I brought her best shade of burgundy and asked them to paint her nails a fresh shade. I insisted that her toes be done too. Mom was nothing if not particular. She would have liked to look her best.

Thank you Mom for everything.
I will try to be the person you raised me to be.
I will try to do as you have taught me.
Much love to you in heaven-------love on Dad, say hello to "prissy", because all dogs do go to heaven, and say hello to my baby brother.
I look forward to meeting him one day.

Many blessings to you in this new phase of life-------and hope that your nails there are as pretty as they were here.

Much love,

Your daughter

lessons

When Gandhi was approached by a parent who was looking for advice on how to get her child to eat less sugar, he paused, thought... then recommended that the parent come back with the child at a later date so he could speak to him. (Depending on which version of the story you want to go with, it was anywhere from a week to a month before Gandhi saw the family again.) When the family next met with the Mahatma, he spoke gently with the child and told him to not eat too much sugar, since it was bad for him. When the mother later asked why he didn't share this with the child earlier, Gandhi simply replied that "A month ago, I too ate too much sugar."

I've been thinking about this story a bit lately and a few things occur to me...

1. The child already respected Gandhi because of how he lived his life before they had met, or he wouldn't have listened to his advice about sugar in the first place.

2. For Gandhi to relate to this child's particular struggle, he had to acknowledge that he also struggled.

3. For his advice to have any meaning, it was important for Gandhi to be able to live his advice.


What is the advice that I need to be living?

Eat locally, reduce my purchasing consumption,
and live as deliberately and greenly as possible.

"Why is his version of the truth better than mine?"

Whilst feeding my “Dr. Who” obsession this weekend, watching The Satan Pit, I was struck by the poignancy of one of the Doctor’s comments about truth.

Faced with the terror of an impossibly old beast that has appropriated the mental faculties and voices of the Ood, a charming and under-valued species, our heroes buy into the “truth” spoken by the beast. He undermines their strength by speaking of their insecurities or focusing on their failings and foretelling gruesome futures and impending doom. The group, for a moment, loses heart. Between the frightening surroundings, the terrifying oddness of the events around them, and their own human failings, they give into their inner mental darkness and begin to panic.

At this point, the doctor steps up, and briefly re-writes the mental script the beast has given them by challenging the crew with his own perspective.
“Why is his version of the truth any better than mine?” He proceeds to list the ways that humans are brilliant, with a certain stalwart enthusiasm and cleverness that is to be commended. He helps them to refocus on what they can do, instead of what they can’t.

The beast recognizes the power of the doctor’s words and terminates communication between the doctor and the crew. Nicely, Rose not only picks up the slack, but generals on---organizing the troops to take on the beast. Though frightened herself, Rose is not one to wallow. She trusts the doctor—sees the wisdom of his words—and goes forward.

Our heroes save the day, the beast is defeated through cleverness and clear thinking, and all is well. Hooray!

What I take away from this marvelously scary episode is the simple idea that it is important to think positively—to focus on the good and the real—and to do what I can to make things better for the folks around me. I’ve been having a hard time with that lately, and I’m not sure why.
In theory “the economy has never been worse”, the housing market is dire, our country is at war, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Beasts are everywhere, telling us how to think, constantly taking our emotional temperature as if it were news, whipping us into a frenzy of fear, complaint and entitlement, playing into our insecurities, and making us defensive. What we need, what I need isn’t to focus on how lousy the housing market is, or how close to recession our economy is, but to think about where I actually am at this phase of my life, focus on the good that is before me---and try to pass that around to those around me.
In short, my version of the truth is just as powerful as anyone else’s.
Yes, the housing market could be better. But I am tentatively hopeful that the government bailout will be a step in a positive direction.
Yes, my bike was stolen. But I still have a vehicle and no trouble walking, so getting places isn’t too bit a deal. (My neighbor has even offered to loan me his bike until I can get one of my own. And that little bit of charity takes away my bitterness against the one who stole my beautiful bike.)
The economy is “struggling”.
But I have a job, a roof over my head and food on my table.
Although I have had struggles with health in the past, things are getting better there. My breathing is more regular---and that makes me very happy. The bizarre numbness on the left side of my body that persisted for several months has gone away. The doctors could never diagnose the cause, and I choose to believe that the restoration of feeling to my left side is a miracle.
I have love. Real persistent love that greets me every morning and is with me throughout the day. I cannot tell you what that does for me.

Finding my mental abundant place and living there for a while may be the best thing that I can do for myself and for others.
In many ways I have withheld myself from the fullness of community life; for fear that it would dominate me. I want good, healthy boundaries. I think those are necessary. But I have held onto that so much that I haven’t gotten out much at all. And it is time to change that. It’s time to re-write that mental script, and start acting it out. It’s time to be my own Doctor. What about you?

craft, craft, craft

I hear you. What's cavewoman been up to?
Crafting!
Making a dress, embroidering a ring-bearer's pillow, sewing table toppers, experimenting with gingerbread recipes. See a trend?
Yep, I'm crafting for the wedding!

The crazy thing to me is how fun it's all been.
I was the last person who wanted a "real" wedding.
Eloping---having the smallest ceremony possible, hopefully outdoors, then travelling was my idea. My groom convinced me that our families would appreciate otherwise. And you know what? He was so totally right.

Now that I'm in the midst of planning...I'm really enjoying it. My family has been letting me know how happy they are about things. And it is really wonderful seeing how happy they are, now they have an event to celebrate.

Truth be told, the last few times the family has gotten together it has been for funerals. How nice it is to be together for a happy occassion.

Our wedding will not be remembered for being an awesome party, the kick-ass food, or the best d.j. It will simply be a very personal, hand-crafted wedding. And nicely---that makes me a happy bride.

a new connection!

Good news!

I will have periodic access to the wireless network which means---more posting!

Wahoo!

Exclamation points!

one day closer to green

As my threes of readers may know, I’ve reduced my car driving to anecdotal amounts within the past year. What you may not know is that this reduction was, in large part, an experiment to see if I could do without a vehicle.

It’s not that I’m against cars. Cars can be very useful. It’s just that---well, I was “using” them all the time for convenience, instead of finding out what I really needed to use a car for. I was depriving myself of exercise, time to think, and just mucking up air quality all in the name of convenience. Thus…the experiment.

I walk to work frequently, and have managed to reduce my “grocery run” to twice a month instead of weekly. To help with the groceries, I’ve put panniers on my bicycle…( my local grocery store is three blocks from my home)…and I carpool with my fiancé’ for the BIG HAUL of staples that I store in my small standing freezer once a month. (If I didn’t carpool with him, I have a good relationship with a couple of neighbors and a few friends---so a once a month big grocery haul would still be a possibility). Slowly, I’ve discovered that most daily needs can be met without a vehicle.

It’s the incidental/accidental needs that have made me hold on to my vehicle for as long as I have. Worries about medical needs (my own, the pets) have kept me close to my vehicle. At least, until I discovered how efficient and affordable the local taxi system is!
Knowing that I could, at any time, call a taxi in the case of an emergency removed the final barrier to vehicle liberation.

So, after much consideration and experimentation, the fiancé’ and I have determined that we can be a one vehicle family---using his truck to get us from A to B, when necessary. Of course, we will still be walking to work when possible…biking to the grocery story/farmer’s market for our “weekly” needs. The only difference is our “back-up” vehicle will no longer be a necessary part of our life.
We will continue to find ways to use the one remaining vehicle less. After all, we want to improve air quality ---and driving less is a great way to do that.
What we save on maintenance/insurance/gas can be put in a “vehicle replacement fund”---which we likely will need within the next 5 years, since his vehicle is getting a tad older, too.
Hopefully that fund will allow us to purchase a more eco-friendly vehicle—one good on gas/emissions/has longevity---and that allows us to do field work in rough terrain. It’s a baby step---but for us, this is a BIG baby step.

Any suggestions on a good eco-friendly vehicle that’s good for rough terrain? (i.e. a high-enough chassis that won’t be ripped off by rocks?) I’ve heard wonderful things about the CR-V and the Element (both by Honda), but I know the gas mileage is less than ideal.

The Green Mile

Over the past two years I’ve made a genuine effort to “green-up” my life.
I buy thriftily, make an effort to bring more local foods into my diet, and try, try, try to use my library more than amazon.com. (That last one is a toughie.)
I carpool when possible, bike when necessary, and walk often. I could recycle more than I do----and I’m working on reducing---but on the whole, I’m doing okay. It’s a process after all. I can’t do it all at once, and I shouldn’t chide myself for where I’m not. I’ll get there, one baby step at a time.

Overall, the best thing I’ve done to green-up my life was to move as close to work as possible. I have a very old vehicle that, even with good maintenance, is not long for the world. I knew that I could either (a) afford rent or (b) replace my car…but I could not do both. So, I chose to move close to work in the eventuality that my vehicle would die and I could not replace it immediately. You couldn’t say that I was re-locating for eco-reasons; they were fiscally motivated. Nevertheless, I made the move---and it ended up having several great results.

Great result (1) My car gas consumption is 2/3 less of what it was before the move. The savings alone is a blessing. What I save on gas, I’m putting in an account for my dream used vehicle.

(2)Time! I get to sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning, and I’m home 7 minutes after I leave work. I am better rested and more cheerful, generally.

(3) Air Quality! When I think of the carbon emissions I’m NOT making, I’m glad for the improvement in air quality. My vehicle is old---and although it is properly maintenanced, my car is still miles away from being a Prius. ( Just for fun, I bought carbon emissions offsets from Terrapass, too. What little I do drive it--- is carbon offset.)

(4) Exercise! Believe it or not, I live so close to work that I can walk there within 15/20 minutes. In good weather, I do walk. In bad weather, I carpool with a neighbor who also works where I do, and lives on my street.

So---living close to work? For it ! It’s the best and accidentally greenest thing I’ve ever done.
(: